guttertrash

im too old for school
i am 10 yrs older than everyone
im a gramps plus its not a real place and all we do it watch movies
why did the teacher give us 10 extra points on the economics test?
boggling, but i love his sweater vest cause they arent old man sweater vests they are like neon colors
i want to make a pop up art sho happen cause my friend said my stuff is gallery worthy but i just want to put up in a coffee shop er somthin cause im scared of galleries and artists and people who like art
but it seems useless sitting on the walls of my room with a dust cover
i love the cold and everyone else always hates it

Well, tubing was amazing, but the jersey devil was out to get the fatties and he pulled us into a scary hidden tributary that was too shallow to tube and we had to scream marco polo to our other tubing buddies through NJ wilderness and walk through the muck to find our way back to civilization !~ in other news the dirty jersey devil got my wasted hat and my 2 dollar sunglasses but THANKFULLY shiner rescued the crocs!

i dont use this cause facebook rules for uploading pictures and that's where i do it. if you wanna see...

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=13213&id=1313296704&saved#/profile.php?id=1313296704

first night in hometown, intense realistic dreams.
it was weird, but i drempt about you, maybe cause im here?
you sent me letters with cutout of pictures and words that seemed really...unlike you
there were a lot of religious elements and hints towards the worlds ending
things spelled out in different handwriting
i remember thinking you had gone a little nuts
then you picked me up, in your car, and we didn't talk, just drove
i remember thinking that maybe we were going to a peaceful spot to talk
i remember holding my tongue
but then you started talking about your feelings and i think i was nervous so i interrupted and tried to change the subject and you were exasperated and quiet then i understood in a really clean concise way everything that was fucked up with me. you dropped me on the road right before a sharp turn and i almost got hit by a car. there was no sidewalk and i wanted to walk around the curve to follow you but i kept being almost hit by cars and when i tried a different route through a parking lot there were creepy men saying nasty things.
i felt like you had left me, and you had
then in my dream, i got a postcard from you, describing where you went without me, it sounded beautiful and i was jealous. i think all my faults were spelled out for me in that postcard, and i was crushed but relieved to have something physical to work with, to hold on to.
i never dream about you, ever. whynow?

#112 Hummus
from *Stuff White People Like* by clander

When it comes to food, all white people are either allergic to/or have stopped eating everything you consider delicious. It’s a good idea to come to grips with the concept, because it will save you a lot of headaches.

But when white people come to your house, you are forced to deal with the problem in a very real, very immediate sense. You will be trapped with their dietary restrictions and they will be trapped with the contents of your kitchen. You can mediate this situation by stocking your pantry with dozens of complicated and expensive snacks. Or you could take the easy way out and just buy a tub of hummus.

All white people like hummus. In fact, if you find a white person who does not like hummus then they probably just haven’t tasted it or they are the wrong kind of white person. In either case, they are probably not someone that you want to know.

Putting out a plate of hummus and pita makes white people very comfortable. It reminds them of home since at any given time a white person has hummus in their fridge. Even the most barren white refrigerator will have a package of the stuff next to an empty Brita filter.

White people are also relieved when they see hummus because they recognize the contents immediately.

Though you would never be able to guess it by their actions, white people are very concerned with perceived as “annoying” or “that guy” who has to ask about the ingredients of everything they eat. However great their concern over this, they are still more afraid of being “that guy” that eats High Fructose Corn Syrup or pork.

Familiarize yourself with this information as it will play itself out every time you try to pick a restaurant with a white person.

You: “Let’s get Chinese food”
White Person #1: “Um, yeah, last time I was there I tried to ask the waitress if she prepared the pork dumplings in the same pot as the vegetable dumplings and I didn’t really get an answer that was concrete enough for me to feel comfortable eating there again.”

By providing your guests with a plate of hummus, you can guarantee that you won’t have to have this infuriating conversation in your own home. But that doesn’t mean you are safe. To cover all your bases, it is always a good idea keep some Gluten free crackers in your pantry.

That way if you bring out a plate of hummus and pita and discover that one of the white people cannot eat gluten, then you are ready to pull off a truly incredible move.

First, pretend not to understand why the person cannot eat wheat. Then go back to the kitchen and return with the gluten-free crackers. Everyone will be impressed by your ability to psych out people with food allergies.

Wait one week and relive the story with different white people, it will make them laugh and secretly wish to be invited to your next hummus eating party.

im just gonna write. no preface.

um so i have been really down lately. i have been in bed, watching sitcoms on the internet. sometimes i will get up to make a postcard and make mac.n.cheese.(my favorite)
so i started therapy and its really really really weird. i talk about me for an hour and this person gives me feedback and interprets things and gives me ideas and its something that feels foreign cause i told her things that i have not even told the closest of people to me and i did that because i figured that's the only way to go for 30 bucks an hour i should just lay it on the table and i feel vulnerable and validated at the same time and she says i have pain and hurt in me. and i have addictions. and i have these things wrong. and its all stuff i try try try to ignore but here she just says it out loud compares me and makes me see myself more in a realistic light. ive tried so long to hid hid away from whatevers going on in my head.
on another unrelated note i went to nolose and it was really strange and wonderful, like i suppose it is for more people who enter a space and are surrounded with people that share two of their own intersecting identities. queer and fat. and it was like i was in kindergarten and the board members kept encouraging us to make friends, reach out but i found myself picking the table with no one at it so i didn't have to interact and i was timid and intimidated and there was a keynote speaker who made us do punches and and lots of talk about race and class and privlege and caucuses and by the 2nd day i was better at talking to people then the third day i was sooo excited and i had made friends and i wanted to stay but i had to leave and it was too short.
just saw this movie called trouble the water and it was a these two people, that lived in the lower 9th ward and had just started video taping the day before Katrina hit and had to get up in the attic with neighbors and shit. they video taped the whole thing and i just kept saying "what!?" out loud cause it was sooo fucked. i mean duh. but yeah if it comes to your city please go see it and tell others to as well.
the cats in my house lick my hair and my cheeks and insist on laying on my chest and i love them and it is comfort where i lack a person to confide in and am i becoming a crazy cat person . yes. is the answer.
i am wondering, when i start school at temple in the spring, if my writing will become more articulate or my vocabulary bigger. maybe ill start thinking before i write things down and post them. maybe not.
anyway. yeah. enjoy fall.

today i got stung by at least 69 jellyfish.
i lost my job 2 days ago.
i am very excited about the upcoming conference i will be attending. http://www.nolose.org/08/
i love to gamble.
i love the penny slots.
cantaloupe is in season, and its bangin'.
i am in a fund raising catalyst dj crew. chicka-chicka-chuugacane.
i love my house right now.
ive been with my boo for a year and 3 months.
to be continued...

my birthday is swiftly approching,
my teenage angst is at an all time high
i want an innerlip FTW tattoo
and to watch the world die

where are you old tallahassee?

side of the road jam sesh.

back 2 the earth

6 mile creek ithaca ny abandoned mill

tangled

madi making rock piles
like a snake

drum circle, ghost cat

grow beard, check

privatized waterfall

moyers monkeyin around

yee haw

ali and madi

heeeeyyy

groundhog skin homemade banjo

chinatown bus takeover

ba da bah bah bah

this is for me to remember, im sure its boring to most.

i had adopted a crocodile. It had lost its habitat to development or something and I had volunteered to take it home with me. The park rangers that gave it to me obliged. It was over 7 feet long. i was living at home in Tallahassee. I was going to dig an oval shaped pond for the croc to live in, but for some reason i decided t would be fine in my bedroom with my cat until then. So i left it alone with the cat for a day, and my mom was sick and in the hospital so i went to hang out with her, after not being able to find her room for a long time. When i got home the croc had eaten the cats throat. i was horrified, apparently not expecting this at all. I removed the dead cat from under the bed and decided I had to call 911. The croc started barking oddly, and banging its tall against the bedroom door. I hastened my dialing, and i got a bored operator, who said the cops cant do anything, and to call the animal-catcher people. Those pepole said they couldn't come out for a while, so i went to confess to my mom who was home now, that i had an 8 foot killer croc at the other end if the house. She was still real sick and didn't take the news well. While standing at her door trying to explain, i heard a loud bang and the fucking croc came barreling down the hallway, right toward me. My mom handed me a bee-bee gun(wtf?) and told me i had to shoot it. I shot it repeatedly in the head, but it kept moving around wildly. All the sudden it jumped out the window and ran across the lawn, and began to climb up these posts that led up to a second story deck of our neighbors the vanlandinghams.(these are real neighbors, but they don't have a two story house in real life) i shot it twice more and then cringed because i realized i was shooting toward a house where people could be. The croc disappeared over the top of the deck, so ran to the house and yelled up to see if anyone was up there. A very calm, slightly annoyed Mrs. vanlandingham walked out on the deck and sighed, crossed her arms and looked down and was like "a crocodile just broke though my sliding glass door and is now laying on my floor dead in the office. what is the meaning of all this?" As i stuttered to explain, Mr. vanlandingham pulled up in his car and after conferring with his wife, informed he that he would move it to the basement, and could i come over later that evening to deal with the disposal of the dead croc body. i guess I was working until late but i agreed, hoping we could just throw the carcass in the back of my truck and dispose of it somewhere in the woods. For some reason, this didn't sound good to Mr. Van, and i got the feeling he wanted to like turn it over to authorities or report me for something, get me in trouble. The last thing i remember about this dream is that the next day we still hadn't moved the body yet, and Mrs. van told me that it was stinking up her house to high heaven.

feel free to interpret.

so i decided to make an entry. haven't done that in a while.
i went to the west coast.
here is proof.

redwoods

everybody that saw the leprechaun say yeah!

im gonna take a backhoe and uproot that tree.

look a like

mer hottie rising from the ocean

bug in a rug

they're just chilling.

4:20.

Dolores park rave

now wave em like you just dont care

tight street art


gay love.

treat street.

taking a nap in the street

momma disapproves

luka stopping the war

i wish

vice: do

?

hott.
the end. more on philly spring soon.

minus one who was at work
plus one joker in the back...

so i thought because my life is real crazy, id make a little list for yall....

since moving to a big city, how many times I....

-got my bike stripped down to a frame- 1
-was in the house during a break-in- 3
-had to call 911- 2
-got sassed by 911 operator- 1
-slipped on ice and fell on my ass- 2
-fell off bike- 2 and a half
-almost got hit by a car- like 100 times
-saw some older man get punched in the head by some 9th graders for a laugh- 1
-had to make a police report about something i didn't want to- 2

ok now moving on...

how many people i know who...

got mugged- at least 6
got hit by a car and broke something- 4
got beat up for an ipod, even though they didn't have one- 1
have a close relative that was shot in philly- 5
had their car stolen or broken into- 2



so i realize that this is all negative stuff, but in some senses, its made me a bit more aware of my presence's impact on this community. I had no idea what i was in for when i moved here, but im quickly learning about the neighborhood in which i live, and the changes that are occurring within it, and those changes are something that i cannot help but play into. Those changes(read:gentrification) are creating a tension that can be felt at times. I recently saw an amazing play by a person named Beth Nixion entitled "mite we?" that really allowed me to see west Philadelphia through the years, free slave migration north , then white flight, then back to today, were UPENN is throwing money at professors to put down payments on houses in the middle of historically black neighborhoods. White kids not unlike me buying up or renting cheap housing more and more west of the city. UPENN has started sending out its yellow clad troops(college police) farther out from the college, and just yesterday I watched a guy who sleeps on the same bench every night get kicked out and all of his bags thrown away. Do you want to know what the UPENNcops said to him?

"you cant hang around here anymore fella, you see that that new pub that just opened up? the students don't wanna look across the street and see you layin on the bench. Moms are probably scared to bring their kids here because of you! this park is changin', no more loungin around ..now get up and get going or ill have you arrested!"

The puppet show mite we? will be on tour by the way, keep an ear out.

well here is an obligatory monthly-er-so update...


hanging in the pentridge childrens garden with the kids...

hanging with my boo

going to dance parties

going to dyke hockey games

hanging out with bearded vermont metalheads.

teaching art, listening to the sax.

then the leaves fell.

and kept falling

i call this: be free.

i hung hard with cue, he showed me some tight skateboard moves.

we have a love/hate relationship

jade the farmer is too cold to farm now, so now she bakes cookies instead, and cuddles me

then it snowed! (no teeth)

got a dog from the shelter, his name is romeo

he chews on socks

and eats snow
.....stay warm..... see yall folx in tally the 20th!

all i can do is show ya pictures....its crazy.
I saw the DJ Girl Talk...it was like a dance party with pyrotechnics.

helped out with farmers market..it was chill. (thats jade)

watched shiner play banjo in the park..

the honk fest in boston

the parade


my roomies bannanz dressed as a college girl and me

shalom being chill as per usual

make yer break dance party scandal

cutie patootie

mural at the school i work at

kids i work with being proud of their winning marshmellow spaghetti sculpture

i call this : scared rabbit gets caught in box spring garden

i call this: funnylookin'

boo, the princess dog

the real costume wearer at peoplehood parade

man-man from round the block wanted a pumpkin mask

fresh veggies from our friends gardens all the time

mornings on the porch are sometimes scary according to trouble

my boo and the best baby ever.

i got 3 teeth pulled i look like a jack-o-lantern i feel miserable send me mail and lovooove

In pictures...
this is intended to give anyone excited about visiting an extra push...
MY NEIGHBORHOOD:

from the roof...

round the block...

trolly lines...

mural in progress..

MY HOUSE:

from the front..housemate andrea doing weird pose..

front garden takeover..

BEDROOM:

intense vibrant color,2 big windows. ive got windows.


HOUSEMATES:

Miranda aka Murda:



Andrea:



Bannanz:




FRIENDS:

cutest person ever.

eating peaches at block party.

sasha visits.

weed walk.

watching mos def preform in the park, from the roof.

get ice tea wasted.

random people with snakes.
thats enough already, geez.

for my birthday this year i decided to stray far from the pink floyd get high lazer light show puke-a-thon, and get back to nature by traveling northward to beautiful climate and scenic views. enjoys chumps.btw, im twentyfuckingseven.


first i went to this camp called farm and wilderness' carnival day thingie that involved some boys in blankets setting a log cabin on fire...

we had to fly a sign to get a ride outta there...

walked along the top of mnt. mansfield for the special day...

swam in lake champlain, it was real clear and someone called us gay.

one of hilarys friends went knock knocking door to door to collect peoples used underwear, and made this awesome quilt outta all of them. up close you can see doo doo stains.

we did some cliff-quarry jumping...

hung out in crazy narnia forests

hilary drives us to maine just in time for the...

black fly beehive ball!

chip was there, in a skirt.

crusty sing along. jk.

the beehive house, its massive.

there were waterfalls too.
now im back in philly and got more pictures to post already....but i will spare you for a couple days.

random update in pictures for all those still watching....
soflo..

this is about 8 hours before labor

3 days later out comes baby niam.

madicakes made my days good.

another baby pic.

we worked on a huge sunflower mosaic for the walkway up to the canoe(caras house)

baby bean.

penelope with icecream fetish in the old country.

freaking out cause its so fucking hot down there in lake worth.

cara and awesome dog that we hung out with.

back in philly, jade jars tons of honey.

the kid knows whats up. yeah, asher.

hilary reads comix to some little kid who jumped on her lap at a bookstore.

how can i resist a mustache finger tat?

come to philly and ill take you here.

my room

trevs.

crazy 8 hour tat.

hils consentratin.

my room.

kitchen/ with miranda

old school tally and melissa

thats a lot of pictures, so i will finish updating my birthday trip pictures soon. love yall.